Honesty is the biggest key to integrity. Being honest can sound very simple, but it is very difficult to follow. There are various positive and negative effects of being honest. There are many good effects of not being honest but they are only short lived. If you are honest at the first time itself then everything will be in a better situation. Learning how to be honest can be a little tough but it will be worth it.
If you are planning to adopt the policy of honesty then this is the most courageous step you can ever take. Here are some simple steps on how to be honest.
Steps:
- First, you will have to understand the workings of the dishonesty. Most of us start learning to be dishonest right from the childhood. For instance, saying some things for desirable approval and praise for avoiding punishment. At first, indulging in dishonest behavior for getting desired results will seem to be such an easy step. Over the time, the thought process that is responsible for such actions starts getting entrenched inside our subconscious mind, which we are not aware of. A time comes in everyone’s life where we forget to draw a line and we stop thinking how dishonesty will affect our life. Dishonesty starts with pretending that nothing is wrong, blaming someone else for our mistake, avoiding embarrassment and avoiding responsibility.
- Fess up and be willing to address issues where you have not been very honest in the past whether you took a cookie and denied that you had taken it or hit someone in the automobile accident and did not accept it. When you are reviewing your past transgressions, it can create discomfort and guilt. You will have to recognize where you have been dishonest back in the past and you will have to stop these things from happening in future.
- If you are feeling guilty for being a dishonest person in the past, then go and apologize to the person and find a way of making all the things right. For instance, if you kept someone else’s money and feel guilty about it, then donate the same amount to a charity.
- Start listing all the areas where you know you are weak. It is very easy to come up with excuses for your failures. Always remember that dishonesty is deeply rooted inside the fear, so look for those fears and face them. If you start working on your weak areas and know how to tackle them, you can consciously get rid of dishonesty.
- Always try to think honestly. This can sound silly, but do not think dishonestly or you will never be honest. Keep in mind that prejudices are preconceived notions that can make it difficult for you to separate the reality from lie. Never take things at their face value. When you read or hear about something then do not make assumptions without knowing the whole thing.
- Start practicing being honest in simple things. This is very important in those situations where ‘coloring’ the facts will not make a difference in the world. Covering up for small lies, which does not affect anyone’s life, is tolerable, but it is always better to be honest. If you start applying honesty to little things, you will eventually get into the habit of being honest in day-to-day life.
- You can exercise tact, because if you are too honest and frank then it can make things sour and hurt everyone’s feelings. Sometimes people tend to misinterpret it as criticism or lack of support. Always keep in mind that, it is always very tempting to say the ‘white lie’ when you are dealing with your loved ones, but you can always be honest by expressing it in the best way possible.
- When you start saying the honest thing, then start with the positive points. For instance if you want to say, “No I do not think you are looking good in those pants” say “They are not as flattering as that black dress. That dress looks the best on you.”
- Being honest does not mean that you cannot remain silent; you have the right to remain silent. If you are getting pushed in one corner and forced to speak, then simply say “Can we talk about this another time?” However, make sure that you never say, “I don’t know”, because if you actually know about the situation then it can come back later to bite you. The person can catch you and will come to know that you know something, and they will start getting pushy.
- When everything else fails, just be honest but be gentle. Wrap all the potential hurtful truth in the form of praise, appreciation and affection.
- While you are being honest, you will have to find a perfect balance between full disclosure and privacy. Just because you are trying to be honest does not mean that you have the right to interfere in someone else’s business. Sometimes there are things that we do not wish to talk about, because it is not the information that the other person is looking for. For instance, not telling your current partner that you were married in the past or have a child can be an objectionable thing later. Deciding, which information has to be shared or not is the personal decision of a person. Always remember that just because you believe that the person is better off not knowing certain things, will not mean that you are acting in their best interest. Always try to follow your gut and try to picture yourself in that person’s shoes, ask yourself, “If I was in his or her shoes, would I get rightfully betrayed if this information was not shared with me at the right time?”
- Always remember that being honest is not easy, because when you try to be honest it will make you vulnerable. It will show everyone what we really are and what kind of mistakes we make and this will give them a chance to criticize you. Sometimes the truth will hurt, but honesty and trust will develop a character for you. Being honest is not like a goal, but it is an ongoing process that will challenge and benefit you at the same time. Always keep in mind that, nothing will be liberating as being honest and having nothing to hide.
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great work…helped a lot…thanx