As an after- effect of some emotion, there is some reaction and the reaction being bad or good is based on the emotion, i.e. if it is expressed with a bad or a good intention. Different emotions lead to a variety of reactions and at times, the same emotion can at times bring about a bad reaction, while at other times, it can lead to a good reaction, depending, of course, on the circumstances leading to the reaction. As for example, many a times we come across circumstances when a compliment is given to us, but then the goal, intention or motive behind giving the compliment makes it appear like an act of irony or an act of mockery before other people. In the same manner, anger is one such emotion having both bad as well as good reactions after being displayed or so. Even though it sounds strange for such an emotion to be associated in bringing about anything good after being expressed, it nonetheless has its good aspects as well. As for example, one such good aspect of it is to be expressed at a moment of witnessing any act of crime, evil or injustice on people. Becoming angry is something beyond the control of people; however there are methods by which anger can nonetheless be controlled to a big extent. In fact, almost all people at one point of time or the other become angry; but then what matters is it becoming an issue of concern at times when people lose control over themselves and are completely under the spell of anger and they experience anger to such a big extent that they completely forget all other things at that particular point of time except the fact that they are angry for a reason. This is because of the fact that, becoming angry to such an extreme extent can do a lot of damages, both mental as well as physical. Not to bear through all these types of pain or suffering later on as a consequence of anger, here we are laying down before you methods for discovering how to control anger and not suffer later.
Come to a halt as soon as you are angry: The moment you feel that there are chances of you becoming angry get away from those circumstances as soon as is possible. In fact, there can be no better a judge than you, for discovering what it is or who it is that makes you become angry, and then at that moment opt to think about something else that can lighten your feelings. Just stop immediately whatever you are doing and get away from it as soon as is possible. In fact, it comes as a breather for you and being away from that irritating or upsetting individual or circumstances is enough to make you calm down in an easier way than otherwise. You can put it to the test in the following situations –
- The moment you are experiencing the emotion of road rage, just turn off the vehicle you are driving and move towards a side road.
- At home if you are upset over something or at some person, go to another room where there is no other individual, or move out for a walk in the garden.
- If in case you get angry at the workplace, go to a break room or you can even go outside in the lawns for a walk to refresh yourself.
- Now if in case you become angry at an unfamiliar location, it is not right to move about by yourself. Instead, you can choose to speak your mind before the one you are with that you are in need of a bit of time alone and request to be left alone to yourself for some time. What you can do at the quiet moment is to close the eyes by sitting in a corner and imagine something good and peaceful.
- Keep a check on your breathing: What you can do at the moment you become angry is to breathe deeply and in this manner by controlling the process of breathing, one can actually slow down one’s anger to a big extent possible. You can count till the number three as you inhale, hold it for 3 seconds and again count till three while exhaling. You have to concentrate on the count as you do this and repeat for as many times as is required.
- Try going to a place of happiness: If in case the process of breathing deeply does not calm you down or make you feel at ease and comfort, you can then imagine going to a place you consider to be calming as well as relaxing. It can be any place from your backyard of a place you often visited during childhood days or a deep or lovely forest side, in fact, any place that can basically make you calm down and at home. You need to concentrate and make sure that every little details of the place, such as the light of the place, all the noises around it, the smell of the place, its temperature, weather etc. matches with your likes. The person in a state of anger has to be there in that dream place till such time as one becomes drowned in that and be there in that imagination until your anger is decreased and you are completely at ease.
- Positively talk to yourself: What you can choose to do is to put on the habit of talking to yourself in an encouraging way after you are rid of the emotion of anger. For example, if in case you are experiencing road rage while driving, you can choose to tell yourself that the person who overtook you by a vehicle was in a hurry as a result of some emergency as well as appreciate the fact that nothing major had happened to your car without it being scratched and that you are still in a position of driving your vehicle. You can further choose to promise yourself to be more cautious while driving after the incident. In fact you can choose to repeat this form of positive self talk to yourself every time you are in the middle of such an angry situation and make it a habit to do so each time and keep on repeating it over and over again till the time you come back to a proper frame of mind.
- Look for a support in other people: If abiding by any of the above mentioned methods are of no help, then you can ask for help from the one you rely on. It needs to be clear right at the beginning as to why is it that you are discussing your concerns with that individual; are you on the lookout for any sort of advice or you merely desire the other person to simply listen to you or if you are looking for sympathy. Let the other individual know what it is that you are wanting from the other person. After you are done with your part of discussing about the circumstances, chances are of you feeling much better than before.
- Try to see the situation in a different light: After you are done with your part of becoming angry over some circumstances and you have calmed down a bit, and are now in a position to go ahead of it, try to see the entire situation from a completely different angle. In fact, viewing at the entire incident from a different perspective can make you be positive apart from the fact that you would not become angry on the same issues the next time you face it over again.
How to control long term anger:
- Engage in some kind of physical activity: What happens at the time of exercising is that endorphins are released and this calms down by giving a physical outlet for the anger or rage within with the movements of the body parts. You can start with activities as being engaged in martial arts, cycling, doing yoga, playing basketball, running, swimming, weight training and so on.
- Change the way you think about life: Cognitive habits, it has been found out, are the hardest to be broken; however, even that can be done with a little bit of practice. For that to take place, one needs to ask oneself honestly if every individual or everything seen as an adversary or a friend. Actually the truth of the matter is that, it is not as we see people or think, but for some bad or bitter experience of the past, that is how we have come to see people or things in a completely bad light. For this to be altered or changed, the following methods can be adhered to –
- First and foremost, make a promise to yourself that the first step you are going to take for altering your image or impression about people and things is to greet every circumstance or person as if it’s something new for you. For that to occur, one has to get rid of all the preconceived notions and greet everything with a fresh bent of mind.
- Once you feel that you are going back to that same old manner of thinking about a particular circumstance or individual, say loudly to yourself to stop at that moment itself and then try thinking about something positive at that point of time.
- Instead of becoming too focused on how a circumstance affects you, try thinking about its effect on other people. Then in that way, you get a better picture of how to control anger when you are faced with it.
- Keep a plan of what makes you angry and how you plan to deal with it: Each such time when you are angry on some person or something, bear in mind to jot down exactly what took place and for that even if it means pointing a finger at yourself, you need to do it, since at the end of the day, a journal is only for private viewing and not to be shared or seen by somebody else. Also at the same time, make it a point to write down the solution for the problem. In this manner, even if you are faced with the circumstances again, you are in a much better state to deal with it in the best possible way.
- Seek medical help if required: If in case anger has become such a big problem in your life that it is becoming a detriment in the daily activities, it is high time for you to seek the advice or counselling from an expert in the field of psychology. At times, anger can also make us unable to develop or maintain our relationships with people and then it is time to take the assistance of a doctor who can assess the root cause of the problem and if one requires any counselling or medicines or a combination of both of them.
Even though it is all the more true that when anger is suppressed, it can cause depression or a feeling of animosity towards the individual causing anger in us, all care nonetheless has to be taken before its release that can cause an act of violence to be committed. In fact, what can be deduced from the above is that, as angry as one might get, nonetheless there are methods that can be adopted for discovering how to control anger in the best possible manner without any harm being caused to either the perpetrator or the sufferer.