From the time we are born, we all have been slaves to our emotions. Babies cry, kids will throw tantrums and teenagers rebel. However, sometimes we all have to rein these feelings inside and learn how to control emotions. After all, you cannot break down in tears whenever your boss does not agree with your ideas. You cannot hit other people as well just because they are irritating you.
Here are some simple tips on how to control emotions.
On the Spot
- The most important thing is that you must know your emotions. There are various ways you will feel, but there are few basic kinds of emotions, like acceptance, joy, fear, sadness, anger and anticipation. For instance, jealousy is the manifestation of fear; this fear is towards something that you are not good at, fear of getting abandoned just because you think that you are not perfect.
- Always remember that emotions never appear from somewhere mysteriously. Most of the times, we all are at the mercy of our emotions on a conscious or subconscious level. If you happen to realize your emotions on a conscious level, you can control them in a better manner. It is always best to realize your emotions from the moment they start to materialize, as opposed to allowing them to build up and intensify further. The last thing you want to do is repress or ignore your feelings, because they will simply get worse and erupt later.
- Try to understand what was going on in your mind when this specific emotion appeared in your mind. Stop and analyze about what you had been thinking about before, until you come to know what kind of thought was causing that emotion. For instance, if your friend does not speak to you, then in the back of your mind you will be thinking that, “This is the end of your friendship!”
- You must always write down the evidence, which has supported the thought that has produced that particular emotion. For instance, you must have said something that you were not supposed to, but now it is too late to correct it.
- You must ask yourself, what is the other way to look at this situation, which is more rational and balanced? Take this new evidence into account, and then you may conclude that things around you are safe. You will be relieved of the emotion, which was bothering you.
- Look at your options. Once you have understood what kind of emotion you are dealing with, think of two different ways to respond. Always remember that your emotions will control you when you assume that there is only one way to react towards it, but you will always have a choice. For instance, if someone has insulted you, and you experience anger, your instant response will be to insult them as well. However, no matter what kind of emotion you have, you will always have two kinds of ways to deal with it.
- Make a choice, when you are deciding what you need to do, you will make sure that it is a conscious decision and not a competing emotion. For instance, if someone has insulted you and you do not react, then it is your decision or your response to fear of confrontation.
Ideas that cause Negative Emotions
- You will have to change your perspective. All the steps mentioned above will tell you how to control your emotions on the spot. If you want to change the experience of negative emotions, then you will have to change the way you look at things. You will have to become optimistic and you will see that negative emotions will make fewer appearances.
- Try to get rid of all the beliefs, which will give rise to some of the disturbing thoughts and your negative emotions. There are many irrational ideas, which will upset you frequently. You can easily get rid of all these emotions by debating with yourself until you have completely eliminated them.
- Never think that if you are not perfect in everything then your life is not worthwhile. Remember that nobody is perfect in everything. However, if you believe that you are a failure unless you are perfect in every aspect, then you are giving yourself lifetime of unhappiness.
- Therefore, you must try to avoid all such feelings, which will pull you down.
Tips and Warnings:
- No matter what you want to do, it is very important that you must acknowledge your emotions. Just because you are not reacting to a specific emotion, does not mean that the emotion does not exist. You must learn to recognize and anticipate things that trigger you off.
- Remember that certain things like watching a movie, eating delicious food can trigger good emotions. Try to recognize the good emotions and practice them as often as you can.
- It is important to know ways to control your emotions, but denying them or suppressing them is not correct. If you suppress your emotions then it can cause physical disorders and even more symptoms that are emotional.
- Most of the emotional problems are very complex and so they need professional assistance by a counselor or psychologist.
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