It is not an easy task for everybody to be married and remain happy forever, in the same manner as often portrayed in cinema. As opposed to what is shown in the films, life is not a bed of roses but is fraught with a lot of adversities and it is even truer in the case of dealing with the concerns of a marriage. A marriage between two individuals is fraught with as many difficulties for the husband as for the wife. But when one faces the negative implications of a marriage, then both the man and the woman feel that it is precisely him or her who is going through all these problems, which is not right. However, with a little amount of aid from either one’s immediate relatives or the experts in the field, things can be sorted out for the better, before calling it quits and pulling down the curtains on the marriage. But of course, it has to be well understood by the husband as well as the wife that it is not completely possible to be completely rid of a little amount of adversities in the course of enjoying a joyful married life, because only when difficulties have been faced and equally won over as a couple, is there the pleasure as well as satisfaction of having gone through the joys and sorrows of a marital life. There might be days when the man as well as the woman might argue over financial matters or some other matter of emotional importance. In such a case, instead of focusing on how to deal with relationship stress completely, the best advice would be to try to put one’s efforts in building up better as well as healthier ways to sort out the problems befalling them as a couple.
There are of course times when the factor of stress in a relationship is caused as a result of some other external source. There might be times when there are abuses, arguments, or either the husband or the wife shouts at the other, when there is an incessant criticism from one spouse to the other, and the like. At times, it might be due to some crisis like an affair of either one of the spouses, an illness, death of some member of the family, and so on. Some couples resort to the means of avoiding the situation by not discussing about it; but they hardly realize that not confronting the issues would only worsen things in the long run. Besides, whether from within the issues at home or a few external issues, stress can affect the person’s actions, thoughts, and words, which in turn affects the other spouse and further has long term consequences on the mental as well as the physical health of the individual. Most of the adversities arise as a result of a few of our own drawbacks and not from the actions or words of some person. However, our ego prevents us from noticing that.
A few of the measures regarding how to deal with relationship stress is as follows:
Concentrate on the positive aspects of the relationship: When we are feeling low about a particular event, then it is but obvious that we tend to focus more on the negative aspects connected with the situation. But according to the advice of the experts in the field of behavioral psychology, it is precisely at that time, when we have to focus all our energies as well as thoughts and words on the positive side of the situation rather than the negative aspect. It is at this time when we need to ask ourselves what is the factor in the marriage that is working in our benefit and why is it working and how can you make it work for the betterment of the relationship rather than cutting it short by arguments.
Get advice and help before it is late: Before it gets too late, when matters do not seem to be working in a relationship, it is always the best advice to go for some expert help. But when we are in the midst of stress as well as tension in our relationship, we generally tend to shun away from any help. However, a certified counselor or psychiatrist through tried and tested methods and therapies can provide many alternatives to the problem, something which we common people can never think of.
Have an ear to listen to your partner: Sometimes, things which we otherwise do not realize or see can be given an insight into by our better halves. But for that to happen, we have to give a chance to our partners and listen to them carefully. You might be shocked and surprised that there is much more to an event than you thought of and begin to see things in a new light.
Try to find a match between the solution provided by your spouse and you: Before speaking out your own concerns about a situation, lend an ear to the suggestions put forward by your spouse, who might be equipped with a better and more precise plan than yours, which you would not find out before engaging in a discussion. Once that has been done, you are free to go ahead and express your own concerns. Rather than arriving at loggerheads, what you can do is to find out a common as well as creative point of agreement to handle the issue at hand.
Wait for sometime before reacting: Before reacting to a particular event, it is always better to go a bit slower on your reaction and only after taking a deep breath, discuss the matter with your better half. However, if you tend to get back at your partner for it, it would only make things worse. Many a times, we react out of anger or panic which leads to a worse situation.
Having made an attempt to adhere to these tried and tested methods, there can be no doubt that half of the matters related to how to deal with relationship stress have already been solved and you are well on your way to building that much desired home of yours filled with all the elements of happiness, love, peace and security.