Love is a simple feeling, which has been interpreted in many complex ways, where we have associated with many emotions and urges, as a result of which the interpretation of love has become quite complex. The very evident delusion that love can happen at first sight is a great example of how ignorant and inefficient we have become, in terms of understanding and finding true love. Love at first sight is not called love, it is called infatuation, a result of lust. True love requires deep bonding between two entities, where it is not necessary that both the parties need to be humans. Care and affection for a pet can also be termed as true love, for we are willingly dedicating our time and efforts to keep the pet happy and lively, without expecting anything in return for it. Giving for the sake of sharing happiness with the other, without expecting fruits in is a clear sign of true love.
Let’s understand the true meaning of love
Love goes way deeper than we can imagine, with its siblings being benevolence, care, affection, sense of belonging, sense of protection and security etc. As many wise men said, love cannot be interpreted through our mathematical tendencies, for it goes beyond measurement. When we are doing something to make the other person happy, without having any counter-thoughts on what we would be getting in return, it is called love. And many of us practice true love, but only few realize that they’re actually doing it. The rest who do not know that they’re being a part of a divine play, tend to think that there’s no such thing as true love.
To be delighted by the happiness of another
There’s no such thing as finding love, we don’t need to seek love anywhere. Love is the universal bond that keeps us all bound to one purpose. It is present everywhere, even in the darkest of corners in the world, even during the darkest of times, love comes in the form of hope. Love cannot be defined through words, and for us to understand the true meaning of love, we need to get absorbed in its effects. What happens when we love? We strive to keep the other person happy. Happiness is only real when shared, otherwise it is called selfishness. Love is the bond which keeps two entities closer, even during the most turbulent situations, where both or at least on of them is trying hard to share the warmth with the other. The pure intention points to one’s delight seeing the other happy. Wishing for the betterment of others is another great example of true love.
“Making love” has got nothing to do with love
Often we tend to come across the phrase “making love.” Here’s a very sad fact – It has got nothing to do with love, if the idea or the intention behind the act is merely sexuality or physical pleasure. Making love is a very misleading phrase, which unfortunately has become global enough to corrupt the minds of growing kids and growing grown-ups. Physical attraction is an aspect of nature, it is called sexuality; it cannot be referred to love, unless it is the result of a divine purpose. Using condoms and preventing the birth of another life, but still wanting to go through the pleasing experience, has become very common nowadays, where most of the times, the act of sexuality is a result of impulses, and not intentions. We, with our extraneous confidence over our ability to judge, assume, and perceive, have been paying too much heed to our sexual needs. As of today, true love is being seen as alien by many among the society, where many have gone to the extent of defining it as inessential. But, they do not realize that they survive because there exists the bond of true love.
We don’t need to learn psychology in order to understand the difference between true love and “assumed love.” Here’s a simple test that you can take to know whether you’re truly in love, or if it’s just infatuation – Ask yourself whether you’ll die for that person, if the situation demands to. Think deeply, and within no time, you’ll come to know if the feeling is as intense as love, or if it is simply a superficial attachment.
Listed below are few steps you can follow in order to find true love:
- Don’t look for true love, don’t keep your focus there. Just do your thing, and when you receive a signal, just turn inside and check whether it is actually love, or just lust. (Caution: In most cases, it is merely a sense of attraction for the opposite sex)
- If you are not happy with yourself, then you will never be happy with anyone else. Focus on yourself, if you want to find true love, love yourself first. The basic problem is many people do not do it. We often look for someone else to complete us. You should never put the responsibility of your happiness on another person, it is not fair. Depression loves company, so you would just be creating unlucky circumstances for your loved one. To be happy with someone else, you will have to make sure that you are happy with the way you are.
- Remember, there’s no such thing as an ideal partner, an ideal husband, or an ideal wife, or an ideal love life. These are simply overstated expectations, and we need to stay away from such thoughts. Life, in itself is ideal, it is our interpretation that makes it seem crappy.
- First decide, with what kind of a person would you like to be with for the rest of your life? Consider whether the other person will be interested in you. This would be based on assumption, and it is recommended that you see yourself sufficiency lower than how you see yourself as of today. You cannot expect to attract a person who is completely different from you.
- In clubs, you will not find true love, but you may certainly encounter someone worth giving a try. You never know, true love may get triggered later while you are in a superficial relationship.
- Always keep in mind that opposites attract. Your ideal person should be who is opposite from you. If one of you is shy, an extrovert partner will be a perfect match; if you are a planner, a spontaneous and creative partner will be good.
Finding true love only seems difficult, since we have volunteered our blinding and blurring, as a result of which it is hard to differentiate between true love and lust. But keeping your gaze inward, and following the intuitions and instructions of the conscience will help you rediscover communication and establish as strong relationship, where the foundation is fertile enough to spawn free love for each other.