Parents are the ideal role models for their children and the behavior they emulate. A child who is continuously yelled at will grow up to believe that this is the only way of communicating. Therefore, you must know how to stop yelling at your kids.
Most of the parents will yell at their kids for various reasons. Annoyance, frustration, isolation, lack of sleep or an old anger will make the parents yell at their kids. However, yelling hardly serves as a productive way of communicating, and so the parents need to tune the anger. There are many effective measures that will get your child to listen to you, which will also help in building the respect for you in your child’s heart. Start trading the yelling habits for softer tones and cerebral techniques for parenting. Here are some simple steps on how to stop yelling at your kids.
- A room for peace
- Games, books, paper, television, crayons
- Quick and easy meals
- If you ever notice that you are losing your temper, the first thing you must do is leave the room. Force yourself to go physically away from the child, even if its’ just a step inside the bathroom. While you are away, start counting till ten, take deep breathes and once you feel that your anger has calmed down, go and speak to your child. Let the child know about your expectations, and together you must decide what you want to do about the situation. Always remember that you must give your child the benefit of doubt and allow him or her to speak.
- Take some time out for yourself. It is a fact, that no one can spend their whole day with small kids and keep their patience level high. If you have been in a situation where you have no rest for a long time, and you feel that you are losing your cool, then all you need to do is take a break. Do anything you want to give yourself that long awaited rest. Meanwhile, you can occupy your child with books, coloring, TV or put your child’s favorite cartoon movie. It will be worth it, spend some time by yourself in your own thoughts, silence with no activity. Everyday try to take at least 15 minutes out for yourself and simply sit in peace. Once you get back on your parenting routine you will feel relaxed and much more patient.
- Allow yourself to take some short-cuts. If your day is already building up, and you are cranky or tried, try eating some comfort food, which will put you at ease. Give yourself a break from the daily house routines like cooking dinner or laundry. Leave all these things for tomorrow. Remember that the world will not come to an end if your house is dirty for a day. Just let you form the mundane routine and breathe a little.
- Sleep; if you are like a typical parent, you are definitely lacking in this area. Lack of sleep is one of the hardest things for parents to overcome. When you are extremely tired, you will lack judgment, energy and patience. A deadly combination to all this will be when you have to entertain and placate your child. Every alternate day, try going early to bed, or take quick power naps if possible. You can take a nap when your child is napping. Forget all the house work you were supposed to do and sleep. The house work can wait for later; when you get good rest you finish the work more quickly.
- Once in a while call a friend or invite someone over. Being with people of your choice will definitely make a huge difference, in terms of how you are feeling about your situation. If you are feeling lonely, call a family member or a close friend and share your feelings with them. The more you start talking, the better you will feel. You will find solutions to your problems once you start talking, which will also help you in your interactions with your child. If the person you are calling is a parent himself, it will make you feel better, because that person can empathize with you, with her experience.
- Sometimes, give your child a break. You have to realize that he is just a child, and does not understand what the right kind of behavior is. Children always love to take their time, they get easily distracted, curious and stubborn when it comes to what they need. At this time, you must take a step back and look at your child. Notice things like how sweet their face is; the innocence, and how many things they have to learn yet. Always try to think yourself as the teacher, and not the adversary; behave in the same way. The child will respect you much more and your relationship will become closer and deeper.
Tips and Warnings:
- Try the technique of ‘talking couch’. Instead of you losing your temper and shouting on the child, sit down and talk over what just happened. Allow your child to talk, and you be the listener. If you are able to talk it through and come with some kind of solution, then this outcome will be much more beneficial than shouting at your child.
- If you are still not able to control your anger, then this means that you have serious anger issues and you need to see a therapist soon.