It is surprising to know that many people don’t know how to take compliments. Sometimes our mindset says that we can never get a positive feedback. Therefore, when anyone compliments you, you immediately think that it is a lie or a sorry feeling for us. This is the critical voice in our head, projected and externalized on others. As if it was not enough that we undermine ourselves, we force others as well to undermine us.
Whenever accepting compliments, you must think about the good thing that you will be doing for yourself. Here are some simple steps on how to take compliments.
- The first step will be learning to say thank you. This is short and sweet, sometimes this is the only response required for the compliment. The most important thing here is to never assume that someone never has a genuine interest when they are paying you a compliment. An eye-roll or sarcastic grunt is never an appropriate response. Sometimes all it takes is a Thank You.
- One of the most important things is to eliminate the self-depreciating language from your vocabulary. Most of the people have this tendency to respond with a negative remark whenever they are complimented. For instance, when someone complimenting you says, “Hey you did a good job with your presentation,” you might respond by saying, “No I didn’t. I was so unprepared.” This statement will leave the person complimenting you insulted, because you have devalued his or her compliment. In this situation, you have painted yourself on the negative side. If you are not comfortable with being the center of attention or don’t like compliments then you can look for ways to involve the person complimenting you. For instance, your response should be, “Thank you, I am glad you liked my presentation. Please give me some feedback.”
- Make eye contact and smile. When someone compliments you for your necklace, then it would not be ideal to look at the floor and mutter thanks. A cheery smile, good posture and eye contact will go a long way. In fact, sometimes body language will be enough and you won’t require words. Always hold your head high. Remember that even when you say thanks your body language will speak volumes.
- Turn a negative into positive. Every one of us may have experienced this awkward scenario: a co-worker complimenting saying, “That skirt looks flattering on you,” this is followed with a negative remark, “I look like a fat cow in that skirt.” It can be very tough to understand how you must react in this state, but you can do it gracefully and quickly. For instance, you can say, “Don’t be silly, you always come so well dressed to work.” remember that you must never add the negative comment, lest you are making a self-depreciating snowball, which will roll along becoming bigger and bigger. An example for perpetuating this negative comment will be, “Are you kidding me? I am the one who looks like a fat cow!” Just smile and accept the compliment, divert your negativity and move on.
Tips and Warnings:
- If you are uncomfortable in accepting compliments, then you can practice it in front of the mirror. Just think that someone said something nice to you, then simply say “Aww, thank you. This means a lot to me.”
- Never change the topic unless you have acknowledged the topic. If they have taken the time to compliment you, then it was genuine and you should handle it that way.
- Always remember that you are entitled to receive compliments just like anyone else does. Never shy away from them.
- If you get conscious while accepting compliments, then just say Thank You. This is not hard and then you can move away gracefully and quickly.
- Sometimes you can use your conversation to make further conversations. You can say, “Thanks! I found this new look in the latest magazine, it’s amazing the stuff they have in there.” In this way, you have accepted the complimented and moved on to something about which you can talk.
- Never object anyone’s compliment, because it is rude and this makes them feel like an idiot. Even if you do not agree with them, it will be rude to say it on their face.
- Always remember that the people who compliment you frequently, you must compliment them as well once in a while.
- Remember that not all the compliments will be about your looks. You must consider compliments for your personality and character to be greater than the outside appearance.
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